I just had a discussion with H and I need some insight in how to handle this. He needs to find a new housing situation and his decision is contingent on whether or not I can continue 'nesting'. With four children, it makes a difference in the size of the house (and cost) of whatever longer-term rental he chooses. With very little income coming in right now, there is a financial benefit to both of us to continue nesting and he rents a smaller place. But it means I have to commit to nesting for at least 6 months, which I am not sure I am able to do right now. Some of our interactions when we switch out are pleasant and some of them are really hard on me (if he is tired and cranky and starts up with the list of the reasons he dislikes me). Nesting requires a huge amount of trust, communication and willingness to put aside all of our issues for the sake of the kids. The latter, I can do. But the trust issue is hard (his ongoing EA) and the communication part is good some days and bad others. Part of me wants him out of my life so we can both move on in the direction we need to be our best selves. The other part of me is scared to commit to each of us having our own homes because it all feels so much more real. And it would be harder on the kids, at least in the initial transition period. What should I do? Any thoughts or experience with this?
