I read your thread yesterday and I'm going to give you my broad take. First, sorry you're here. This [censored], but you can choose to look at the bright side of it and be positive. You have this opportunity and the impetus for growth and true happiness.
Your W is reading out of the same book the other WW's do. I think you made a mistake by saying the open marriage would be OK as a last resort. People make mistakes when they get emotional, so you try to detach and stay in your right mind all the time.
Your focus should begin to shift off of everything she is doing. She is spinning, going crazy, and she even said as much. You need to protect yourself and take care of yourself. You can't fix her through any talking or chivalry. God knows I tried every trick in the book to get my W back but ultimately it was confidence in myself and not pursuing her that let her think about changing her mind.
All the things your W is doing are out of your hands. Let go of the stuff you can't control and focus on what you can. That's where you find true happiness my friend. I'd get out and GAL and think about what you will and won't put up with. I don't think that means you have to decide your in or out of this marriage immediately, but with all the stunts she is pulling maybe you don't want to hug and kiss and hang out. That's up to you though.
Anyways, best of luck to you.
One slight correction, I didn't say an open marriage WOULD be OK as a last resort, I said it could only be considered as a last resort. I know the distinction is slight. Upon further reflection, I decided it would never be OK and this has been communicated to her.
I am only hugging and kissing if she initiates, you can't be the lighthouse and be cold and rejecting.
