[i]I was trying to imply that there was a time no so long ago when I couldn't imaging staying and that I felt like there was literally no chance we would work out and there was no reason to stay other than the kids.
That's not the case now.
While I still am struggling to see any future (staying or going) that is not unhappy right now, at least this one is not as dead as I once thought it was.
Honestly I can't tell you exactly what has changed. Maybe I am still holding a grudge and slowly letting that go. Maybe you are also proving that you are committed to being different and I'm seeing that perseverance. Whatever it is, at least I feel like I have taken a half step back from the edge of the abyss. I'm not trying to be dramatic. That's what it has felt like for a while.
As for the other part, I do understand what you are saying. I'm not sure how to be more respectful or discrete. I'm inherently being disrespectful so there is no getting around that.
As for descrete, I'm trying, but it's not really possible. I'm carving out a few hours in the middle of the night so I can't really be any more discrete. While the rest of you have bedrooms, I sleep on one of two couchs so it's pretty easy for everyone in the house to see if I'm there or not. I continue to try and be discrete even though you clearly let me know you know by checking the garage camera in the middle of the night and leaving on all the lights.
I know you didn't sign up for this. If the situation becomes unbearable for either of us, let's have an adult conversation about me moving out. That would be a reasonable next step while I try to figure out what my future looks like and honestly that is a more respectful option.
This email is pure manipulation and he is such a (another name for a cat) he can't say this BS to your face.
Originally Posted by BlueSea
Do I consider this progress in the right direction?
Absolutely not! This is him just showing more disrespect.
Originally Posted by BlueSea
I feel very sad today as I am waffling on this huge decision of what to do next.
It's ok to feel sad. Deep down you know what you have to do.
Originally Posted by BlueSea
Is what I am doing the right thing - being validated by his email?
You are making changes for yourself.
Originally Posted by BlueSea
Even if it was, I definitely can not keep this up.
No. IHS with a cheater that doesn't even hide it is not good for your emaotional well being.
Originally Posted by BlueSea
If he leaves - either by my request or his choice - I think that will be the end for ME in pursuing this marriage any longer.
And that's ok. You wil always know you did everything to save the marriage.
Originally Posted by BlueSea
How I hate all of this.
I hate this for you and your children. You deserve better!
