Oh, I am definitely smart enough not to sucked in. There is nothing to get sucked into romantically either because it is absolutely nothing I would touch with a 10 ft pole. I have no desire.
He definitely didn’t have a personality transplant. I am just about positive he has OW contact since being remarried He might be doing this to make himself feel good. And fine, I’ll reap the benefits! I try to not ask for too much, unless it’s for D13. The rest he just offers. So if he offers, I’ll take it. But yeah, he owes me. He’s done a lot of damage . And I’ve made his sins relatively easy for him. So if he wants to help, sureeee!
No work this weekend and no kid. Kind of rough on me sometimes. I did manage to keep myself busy with my yard, planting and landscaping. I grew up in apartments and this is my very first house with my own yard. I made a small garden and today I planted flowers. Looks ok so far. It’s a lot of work. And I really don’t know what I’m doing. But the weather this weekend was freaky, it keeps me busy, my hands and mind occupied, so it’s a good thing. No mindless eating, no thinking about everything that is going on. I do love it. Last nights I went to target to distract myself from my thoughts. They become a little dark at night. I’m lonely. I want to play with my friends again! Families see eachother around here. Not many friends. But I hope that changes soon. There is a good hope outdoor dining will open up tomorrow. And I am dying for a meal away from my dog yelling at me.
The ex and D12 came by yesterday. He had to pick up the steaks I got him ( forgot them when he picked up D 12 the other day) I didn’t realize they left his wife in the car. D12 forgot something and said to her dad “ Go to the car , H is waiting in there. He said “ I see enough of her” then he turned to my dog and said “but I don’t see enough of you! “ weird. He made the steaks tonight and sent me a text thanking me for them.
In a nutshell , I’m keeping busy, I’m pretty tan, and I’m lonely and sad sometimes. But I still make the best out of life. I am working through something very tough. Through realizing I will lay likely never have a partner. Maybe some short term R’s like I have, but long term just isn’t happening for me , and singledom is my fate. I’m learning to be ok woth that and grieve and it’s a tough loss. I am an affectionate loving giving person. But it just isn’t in the cards. And I have to be OK with that. Not easy, but not impossible. Look at everything I’ve overcome and accomplished and all the realities I faced head on. This is just one more.
It’s not so bad being 40. Saw friends yesterday, had sushi outside with them, then had a virtual happy hour with some friends, and it seriously made my birthday.
Got a call from a special friend this morning wishing me a happy birthday.
I’m actually in a super good mood.
I’m alive and healthy, and that’s something to brag about these days
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
In a nutshell , I’m keeping busy, I’m pretty tan, and I’m lonely and sad sometimes. But I still make the best out of life. I am working through something very tough. Through realizing I will lay likely never have a partner. Maybe some short term R’s like I have, but long term just isn’t happening for me , and singledom is my fate. I’m learning to be ok woth that and grieve and it’s a tough loss. I am an affectionate loving giving person. But it just isn’t in the cards. And I have to be OK with that. Not easy, but not impossible. Look at everything I’ve overcome and accomplished and all the realities I faced head on. This is just one more.
I got this
Happy Birthday Ginger1!
I'm far from up to date on your posts, just curious. Why are you doomed to singledom? Who's deciding that fate for you? Is it what you want?
H37, W37 D4, S2 ILYBNILWY 9/19 BD 9/19 EA discovered 10/19 Currently in limbo, no D or S process initiated
