Dearest Pommy, thank you for your response. I am working on dropping the rope, leaving all my expectations behind and just going as dark as I can, made more complicated by the fact we run a business and have 4 kids together.
Can I ask you what you said when you were vocal about what you wanted? How did you communicate this? And what did you want? And how you stood up for yourself? I think we have similar situations with H's that felt emotionally and/or physically abandoned by us so going completely dark is potentially more of the same.
I have been doing a lot of reflecting on what I contributed to in the decline of our M and a part of me wants to share these thoughts with H. Maybe in an email as we are not spending much time together right now. But I also am not sure if that is the right thing to do. Last time I was vulnerable and 'owned' my side of the street, he was really receptive and we reconciled a few days later (for only 36 hours, mind you). He hasn't shown any interest in reconciling since, although he is very suspicious about my whereabouts and whom I may be spending time with. If you don't care about someone, then you would be happy they are moving on, I believe.
And did you ever confront your H about the EAP? Did you draw a boundary around that?
If anyone has thoughts on any of this, I am open to 2x4's or support!
