I was upbeat and smiley before, but I felt like H took advantage of that so I had to set a boundary. and then there was all this gaslighting from H, and I did not want to engage him. That's when my gray rock formed. Maybe like cardinal said, it was kinda like a defense mechanism. And partly because I had lost hope.
I identify with the way you’ve broken down these shifts, wooba. I’m thinking—for me—can gray rock be just not engaging when we need boundaries, but when engaged, being free to be upbeat? I wrote that question and then read your last reply. It seems like this is one way of enacting compassionate indifference and a new phase of detachment. You are finding what works for you, not for him. You are finding it feels better to be kind and friendly when you do interact, and it no longer feels like doing so is giving up something for you, or putting your boundaries at risk. Is that accurate? You’ve reached a place where you can both feel like you’re protecting yourself and are safe to be friendly in interactions. This feels to me like a place of great strength.
Originally Posted by wooba
My idea of good energy is like what Sage said, envision my intention (which I'm still trying to identify - something along the lines of compassionate indifference but I'd like something more concrete) and just sit with it.
I’d love to hear more about how you begin to make this intention more concrete as you figure it out!
