kt, so you found out that there was an affair BEFORE the affair you already knew about. And what did that change? I am not seeing why this is so earth-shattering. Why this changed anything from the moment before you knew until the moment after you knew?
KTO,
On one hand i think this is a very fair comment.
However, as the bigger picture, lets take a rational look at this - Your wife has cheated on you at least twice - maybe more. You weren't even aware of the first one - so while you thought you had a happy family, she was off having fun.
I know you are an emotional kind of guy, but i think you really need to have a long hard think about the type of person she is. This isnt a 1 off or a lapse in judgement - Your Wife has zero respect for you and doesn't have it in her to set boundaries / be faithfull.. Even if you patch up the current issue, its probably a matter of when and not if she cheats again. Some people are just not meant to be in a long term relationship - they love the idea of it, but eventually they look elsewhere - its nothing personal.. You could be the best husband / father / lover, but they always want something extra..
Re the quiting the bar scene.. If she has done this for 15 years, its because she enjoys it. I can't imagine the money is amazing, so she has done the 1 night a week as she likes it. Its probably her freedom from being a mum, allowing her to socialise - She may be happy to stop initially, but once the covid thing goes away, or the harmony at home takes a step or two back, the resentment will kick in... LH19 put one of the best posts about resentment on here a few days ago - read josephs thread - its in there.. She will resent the fact she cant stay out late, and it will spiral. You won't want to hear this, but you just cant fix some people - as they will never accept they are broken.
Previous username - Helpme123.. A name chosen at a desperate time..
Now Mr Brightside.. coming out of my cage, and doing just fine.
