Steve, I agree with you what I just learned was before the original affair so what's really different? And yes, transparency is very different than full disclosure. I guess I just wished she came clean with everything because now I will always wonder what else she is hiding. Although, I was already wondering that and that's why I went through her phone (she gave me her passwords).
I just ordered Healing from Infidelity. In addition, I will go to MC tonight and only to make a few points but then to listen. I feel like she needs to come clean with all or any affairs. Her best friend, who herself was cheated on which led to a divorce, has supported me throughout. She said, the past is the past. Anything prior to her coming home is considered my first marriage. After my W coming home is our second. Move forward but don't forget. She believes I'm entitled to truth but also not to throw away the progress we made since she's come back. I'm going to try to stick to that. Honestly, this affair, the first one I just learned of, hurt less than the original one. I don't know if that's a good thing or bad but at least it's easier.
Lastly, I'm here for awhile. I did leave the board because I was naive and thought I didn't need it anymore. I've now learned I need it more than ever. Things have been good but not great. My W has stated she wants to move on and not talk about the A outside of MC and IC. Our MC did not agree, telling her this is my timeline and not hers. Second, her insecurities are what led us here and she needs to work hard to address those or history will be repeated. So I will continue to update, read, and participate on this board. I can't thank you all enough. I value all of your opinions, regardless, how different they can be. This is a marathon and I'm just starting to run.
