Life isn't entirely different when you're separated. In fact, a lot more things stay the same than you initially realize. You've just got to pick yourself up and start moving again. Once you do, it's not so bad. And you do get used to being alone and to your spouse being gone. It's definitely better than I thought it was going to be and it's easier to handle. Of course, I thought it was going to be absolutely terrible. It isn't.
It does stink though. There's not a lot of joy when you're stuck at home, the kids are with her and the OM, and you're bored. It does seem to get better every day, so there will probably be some actual joy on the other side of this. I'm just marching toward better days. And I have plans on rebuilding my life without her.
Even though she isn't around much, my spouse has taken notice of my positive mental attitude, how well I'm taking care of the house without her, and how I am tackling long deferred projects. So, for those of you wondering if your spouse will notice your changes if you're separated, they will eventually. You just have to wait for them to notice. Still, it doesn't seem to have had any impact on my sitch. Not that I was expecting it to. That's what the book said might happen and I'm sure she expected me to pick myself up quickly.
Of course, my sitch really doesn't have that much to do with me. She fell madly in love with someone else and left everything behind to see what life with him would be like. There never was anything I could do or say to counter that type of thinking. I just had to let her go and wish her the best of luck. For the moment, she seems very happy.
It's been more than three months since I told her to leave unless she was 100% committed to me. I don't regret it one bit. I'm sure I'd do the same thing ten times out of ten. But my problem really isn't letting her go, it's accepting how easy it was for her to let me go. I thought she loved me and she'd have a hard time letting me go. That's why I went with the ultimatum and no contact.
