Here's the deal you know me. You know I'm no vet. I was ranted and raved against as I softened towards H. Behaved as a wife even though I had been fired. This is totally anecdotal. I can't tell you that anything will or won't work. But here's the deal. I'm not a sappy woman. I think we all know this. I'm pretty rough around the edges. There was very little begging on my part after BD. There was however a lot of rage and then a wall of silence. What I do know is when I was extremely hot(angry) or cold he matched my energy. He met anger with anger. Silence with silence. Distance with distance. He met happy with happy. Flirty with flirty. When I was walking on egg shells around him with the girls, he made our house feel like we had to maintain that. When I decided I wasn't going to live like that any more. That I wasn't going to hide from him and not live my life. When I decided that I would be kind, not placating or pandering, but kind to my husband whether I was fired or not, that's when things changed in my house.
Real DBing, as it reads in the book, is trying different paths on until you find one that gives you results. You gotta do what you gotta do my dear.
