I want to fight for my marriage, I would give all I have to get my family back and I want to change for myself and my children but I cannot take so much blame and hat anymore.
You see fighting for your marriage in only one way. Think outside the box, Pack.
When will you realize it is not about you? You could be perfect in doing all the things you should have done while she was living with you. You've worked hard to win her back......and she would not be kind to you. Why? B/c this situation is not about Pack. Do you hear me? You are no longer the problem for this separation. You are not the reason a reconciliation has not occurred.
Stop trying to fight for your marriage. All it accomplishes is fighting with her. She is the problem, and you are not going to win her heart. You cannot make someone love you, if they don't want it. She never has a kind word, and she has been terrible to you ever since she moved out. She has no respect for you as a man. Her hatred for you is harming the children, and she will get worse........especially, if she senses that you still want her. She knows you want her back. Do you really want her as the woman she is today, or is it the home & family atmosphere you are really missing. Is it the idea of getting another chance that you really crave? I'm not saying you don't love her. I do believe you would do much better if you would let go of trying to get "good enough" for her to change her mind.
Continue being a good father to your children, but let go of trying to convince her that you've changed. It's only making things worse for you and the children. You need a clear head in upcoming decisions. Previously, you tried to give her what she wanted with the children's schedule, based on your emotions at that time. You see how she wants to use it to her advantage now.
Follow your lawyer's advice.
Don't misunderstand me. I'm not saying you've made a mistake in your recent interactions. I think your response to her demands was handled very well! I'm only explaining that your other option in the separation is to let her go, b/c the problem is not Pack. I think you are beginning to see it, but feel that you must continue trying to prove yourself to her, and convince her that the MR would be much better b/c of your improvements. Proving your changes to her is what I want you to stop doing. It's not about you becoming a better H for her. Initially, you could not think of anything else, and sometimes, that thought process can hinder.
I think you are listening a little better, but her calls with threats & manipulation take a toll on you emotionally. Is there a part of you that feels you deserve to be treated in this manner? Don't tolerate disrespect, b/c it will never cause a woman to feel love/desire. You don't deserve this type of treatment from her.
You need to let her go.
Protect your feelings!
Continue to use written text messages as your means of communication.
Keep us updated.
((hugs))
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
