DB'ing while living in with a WAS/MLC husband

[BlueSea]

Starting a new thread.. Previous thread was "And then it was over"
https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2894136&page=1

Background:

I found out about my husbands affair on Feb 25th - he went from a kind husband, to cruel & uncaring that day, Feb 25th. Spent a few weeks where he was trying to convince me that he could have both of us, he could compartmentalize, it would work. She was the best friend he ever had. He finally stopped seeing her and then stopped talking to her (So he said - in retrospect - probably not) - that took about 3 weeks.

The next month, he made efforts, we were going on walks, talking - really getting along, good conversation - he is impressed at the changes I have made - and says he knows I have really have changed. He would say he loved me. He would say I had so many great qualities, as a person, as a friend. Then after a great Saturday night walking on the beach, Sunday a complete reversal - he was done - its over - he is going to leave.

He says he truly believes I have made fundamental changes, and that things would be better between us, but he does not love me or have that 'emotional' connection any longer. He is leaving. For the time he is here, will continue to consider us...but he is no longer trying.

He exercises obsessively every day, takes testosterone shots, human growth shots, minoxidil for his hair line - and dressing in concert T shirts like a 20 yr old. And talking to me in a cold tone with cold uncaring eyes. He does not seem to care even for the kids.

He is back to seeing the OW, I didnt know for a couple of weeks, but I caught him sneaking out.
Now we are in an awful state - living under the same roof - while he is in an active EA/PA - staying out all night a couple times of week to be with the OW. But enjoying the family life during the day. It's an open marriage and its painful, and its right in my face.

I am struggling with asking him to leave. I had asked him to stay, but this route is very painful, and difficult to DB.

Me: 50
Husband: 49
D: 16
S: 13
Married for 23 years
D Day: Feb 25th 2020
Emotional & Physical affair Dec 2019