One of W's best friends from college, who also sang at our wedding reached out. She says she can't get a hold of W and is wondering how she is? W has been avoiding everything and almost everyone from "our" part of her life for the past 6 months. The friend and her husband recently had a child, and now she can't he t a hold of one of her better friends... I feel sorry for the friend and get angry at W.
It's not unusual. One of the old timers here used to say that a WAS detaches in this order- spouse, close family, friends and then when they reattach they do it in the opposite order. If their friends don't enable their behavior, especially if they are wayward, then they drop those friends and surround themselves with enablers.
Quote
Hi friend "Me and W are partly separated since 4 months back. So things aren't great but we are getting by. How are you three doing? Would love to meet you guys and the baby! Will tell W you reached out. "
If the friend doesn't know you're separated then I think it's OK to tell her. Your statement above is pretty good, but I would leave out the part about things not being great. I also wouldn't offer to tell W anything, just stay out of it. LH's suggestion of validation is good- "I'm sorry you haven't heard from her, hopefully she will reach out to you soon."
