I had a good weekend of doing my own thing and have been feeling detached, but now I am spiraling.
Came home to swap out with H for my days with the kids and something he said has been sitting with me and making me feel suspicious. A week ago, my sister invited me and the kids to spend a couple of weeks with her in another state. Sometime in late June or early July. The kids were thrilled at the idea, and H was OK with it, but it brought up some custody/time with the kids discussions and I needed more time to think about it. In addition, her state has a strict quarantine regulation, as well as the consideration of flying right now, exposure to Covid etc. A lot to think about.
When I came home, H said that the kids had been talking about it and they were keen to go. And he was keen to let us. He even shared what he thought would be ideal timing for that to happen. I shared some of my concerns and that I hadn't made a decision yet and needed to think about it more. He understood and asked me to just let him know.
On paper, this all sounds reasonable. But something isn't sitting right for me with all of this and I am worried that he wants to get rid of us for a couple of weeks so he can spend time with OW (who lives far away, one or the other of them would need to travel to see each other). Am I being paranoid? I know that they are still texting/communicating. The last communication I saw included her saying she loved him and him calling her baby. He will be much better at hiding everything now, I am sure. And although I only have proof that it is an EA, I am sure it is also a circumstantial PA as well.
What should I do?
His continued communication with her also brings up emotions for me and our current situation with nesting. He has a pretty ideal situation: lovely home, kids whose lives aren't too disrupted by the S, doesn't have to think about really moving out, doesn't have to think too much about the general maintenance of the kids (there is always food in the house, I keep it clean and do the kids' laundry, I do most of the at home schooling). AND he gets to keep his EA going.
