And then it was over.

[BlueSea]

I went for a ride to get myself ready for the conversation...needed to be in the right headspace. When I got back, he had sent an email.

I've been wanting to some express some appreciation to you in person, but I was pretty certain that I would screw it up, so I wrote it down....

I just want to tell you that while things are pretty awful right now, they may not be as bad as you imagine. I know that you are going through hell and putting up with a LOT from me right now. I'm being extremely selfish and we both know that. I really am trying to find my way through this. Please know that I see what you are going through and while I can not image it, I am trying to understand and empathize.

I just wanted to tell you that I very much appreciate your tolerance of my bad behavior on so many levels over the past months. I sincerely admire your strength and courage. I do see it and it *IS* making a difference.

Thank you for not giving up on me so far and please don't give up on me yet.

I didn't move forward with the conversation but its ready. Its hard for me to change gears so quickly: from getting to the place to be ready to have the conversation, then reading his email, I feel sidetracked for tonight.