Beth, I think I have transitioned from the fear stage to feeling that I will be ok either way. I still have wobbles, but my IC is helping me move forwards. I can see now how wrong and unfulfilling it would have been to keep him home through guilt, fear. He has said before if he comes back, he needs to know he is coming back for me. Last time (4 weeks ago) he didn’t feel like it was for the right reasons and he ran away again. And I learnt from that that I don’t want someone who isn’t sure how they feel about me, or who,isn’t committed to at least giving it 100% effort
It's so funny you mention that, because when I read through your sitch, that hit me, because my H has said something very similar: that he has to be sure its for good when he decides to come back, because he doesn't want to leave again. I understand why he feels that way, but me understanding it doesn't take away from the hurt of it all. At least for me, it's impacted me a lot thinking about that. I feel the exact same way...I want someone who wants to be with me, who feels good about me and us together, and who is committed.
I'm 40, H is 36. No kids. No infidelity of which I'm aware. Mini BD January 2020 -- not sure if he wants to try anymore BD March 2020 -- separation
