I’ve been on these boards for 12 years. I’ve been through it. I mean through the dirty of it. I know a lot, I’ve learned a lot, I know what works and what doesn’t.
I am not telling you to defend yourself to me. I’m telling you to really dig deep and take the steps needed to properly detach. And that is is looking deep down into the painful realities. And asking yourself the very hard questions.
I don’t need your logic. I don’t need your defense. These are things I am asking for you to look at for yourself, if you want any chance at saving your marriage and saving yourself.
It all starts from self worth and really looking at the narrative you write in your head vs. the reality. If you aren’t ready for that, the. You are t.
If you want to hold him up on the pedestal and be the “incumbent” go ahead. If you think holding on for dear life while he has an affair under your nose, then go ahead . And you don’t have to defend why you chose that to me or anyone else. When you are ready, you are ready, and you have made it clear it is not now.
But I can tell you from many years here, that has worked for 0% of the divorce busters .
If you want validation and no true direction in the tough work that it takes to get there, I am probably. Ot your woman right now. I’ll be around if you want help when you are ready for it. If you want to use this place purely as a source of venting right now, go ahead.
But your self worth is truly the corner store to saving yourself and possibly saving your marriage. That’s why I drive it home.
And as the saying goes, if it stings, you should take a look at it
Best of luck , really and truly. My heart goes out to you
