And then it was over.

[BlueSea]

Ginger -

I guess this great guy part, is who he once was to me, and since the affair and continuing it things have definitely changed. Is it okay with you have I have 2 views of this man - one from my memory and one from the present? I am just venting and journaling here.

If its not logic to you - thats okay - its what is going on with me right now and most likely not logical. For the state I am in, I would not expect it to be and I am going to let myself have that - instead of figuring out how to defend that to you.

I see your just jumping into the thread without some back reading which is fine, I did mention previously that MWD's book, 'Healing from Infidelity', this is her recommendation on how to handle this situation (Chapter 8 when your spouse wont end the affair and 9) if I could handle that. I did post earlier specific references to what she says but for you I will add some more because it seems that you like to swing 2x4's (at least thats what it feels like to me when I read your reply post). And I am picking this part specially for you Ginger ... I would appreciate if you go head to head with MWD on her own words:

Chapter 8, pg 162
"But you are not a doormat. Your are not a pushover. You are simply fighting for your marriage and your trying to do it in the smartest way possible. You are giving your spouse the time and space they need to sort their emotions out and do the right thing. You are very courageous. Your a warrior. Don't let anyone tell you differently.

You probably mean well - but constantly posting to me 'dont you think more of yourself? - just puts me on the defensive.