Previously I would have had him back at any cost- for the kids, the family, the lifestyle, the security etc. Now I know what I really want and deserve, and it’s not some half-@rsed excuse of a H! I want to be loved!
Thank you for this. Keep on keeping on, Pommy.
Beth, I think I have transitioned from the fear stage to feeling that I will be ok either way. I still have wobbles, but my IC is helping me move forwards. I can see now how wrong and unfulfilling it would have been to keep him home through guilt, fear. He has said before if he comes back, he needs to know he is coming back for me. Last time (4 weeks ago) he didn’t feel like it was for the right reasons and he ran away again. And I learnt from that that I don’t want someone who isn’t sure how they feel about me, or who,isn’t committed to at least giving it 100% effort.
M:49 H:49 T:20 M:18 D:16 D:14
EA: Feb 2019-May 2020 Separated: Mar-early Aug 2020 H asked to reconcile: Jun 2020 EA relapse: Oct/Nov 2020 Recon #2: since Nov 2020
