Hi all! Just enjoying the evening... Perhaps having a couple "drink drinks" to relax. I know as a LBS we should stay away from that, and for the most part I do, but it's Saturday night!
Anyway, just been thinking... On Monday it's June, that is essentially 9 months since my wife started an affair. She has shown zero signs that she wants to reconcile with me. However, we have made zero progress towards a divorce. So here we are in limbo land.
I am thinking about reaching out to her tomorrow to ask for an update with our divorce. If you read back through my thread I know I have gone back and forth with this, but it has been 9 months! Nine months of me continuing to invest into our home, living in a community property state. I can't continue to do this. What if this goes on multiple years, by the law I could be loosing thousands of dollars.
I have a lawyer on standby, I haven't moved forward with hiring him because we haven't really been married that long, and up until now I felt it was financially in my favor to settle this without lawyers. However, if this continues on much longer, I am going to continue paying a mortgage that my wife is legally entitled to half of. I'm going to have to fight it at some point.
So I'm just wondering, is it worth reaching out and asking what is going on? Why is it taking so long to reach a deal we can sign off on? Or should I continue to remain no contact?
If you want the honest truth, even after 9 months, I still want reconcile... Now that is with the full cooperation of my wife, I certainly have boundaries in my head if we got to that point. However, I have to be realistic here, and come to terms that it has been 9 months and there are zero signs she wants to reconcile. So this is where I need advice. Do I break no contact and start pushing her to get this divorce done? I'm just starting to loose my patience, and I'm concerned financially that over 9 months I have invested a lot of money into a home that legally is still owned by my cheating wife! I'm so torn, on the one hand I wish she would come to her senses and want to work towards a new relationship, but on the other hand I look at reality and know she is probably never going to do that.
