H and I are polar opposites when it comes to parenting and money. He worked a lot so didn’t have much to do with parenting and I handled the money. Yes I paid for a life we couldn’t afford but I kept it within a range I could juggle.
He’s free now to spend money on whatever he wants. D14 gets to eat out all the time, got a new iPhone, boutique clothes, a Nintendo switch, etc. We had this life before and she doesn’t want to give it up. I truly understand that because I miss it too. He’s gone most of the time but he buys her stuff. If she moves he will stop.
I think the pain of losing stuff is greater than the pain of being left alone with an empty fridge. She’d rather eat McDonald’s at 11pm than give up the toys that all her friends have. We ran in the upper middle class and now I’m in the working class. Android over iPhones. Small house over a McMansion. Thrift stores over boutiques. Ragu over going out to eat at a trendy Italian restaurant. I no longer live in the best school district.
Don’t get me wrong she is miserable but at least she has her toys. My older 2 kids are more grounded. They’d rather have family than stuff. I think D14 being the baby also factors into this.
