Made it a year - part 4

[HaWho]

No, this disparity in the 2 households has affected all the children, not just daughter 14. That is my whole point! It impacts all children to know there are 2 different standards involved. Even if the other 2 are living with you because if he has more then it creates resentment for those 2 kids. And that impacts their relationship with each of you. The goal is to set it up so that each child has a healthy relationship with each parent. If you have less the kids worry about you more and that is not healthy for you all either. If long term you are awarded less (which I do not believe will happen), this makes it harder for you to care for yourself long term and you make the case you don’t want to be a burden to your kids. Rather, you want to care FOR them. This needs to be hammered home.

You are bringing some sort of defeatist attitude to this all. You need to get an attitude of entitlement. That is a long term marriage, you were a SAHM, it was a partnership and that is YOUR money, too. Please repeat this over and over so that it is conveyed to your lawyer and the judge. And it is in the best interest of ALL kids. Please start believing it.

Do you have text conversations indicating lack of food at his place, rats, proof of neglect (that he is out all night)?, etc. Print all these out and be ready to show them in court. Give them to your lawyer. Text convos between my ex and the kids sunk my ex. It helps to have your convos with her, but if you have convos between her and him, that helps A LOT! However, you don’t want to involve her in this to the point that it damages her r with him/turns her against him. My kids were young so I still had full access to their phones. His convos with them were so damaging the judge actually warned him he has issues.

You are bringing some sort of prior issues to this all and projecting them onto this situation. I suspect it’s because of childhood issues. Being treated badly but staying for the money is a conversation you need to have with your daughter. It is not love. No man should ever treat her like she can be bought. Huge mental course correction needed here for d 14.