And then it was over.

[may22]

one thing that helped me detach was really to focus on my H's negative qualities. I know this isn't true detachment-- you want to get to a place where his behaviors don't affect you emotionally at all- but sometimes it can help you get there to swing the pendulum in the other direction.

Think about what a jerk he is being, stare at that sty on his face, gross yourself out over him. I also made a list of all the great things I was going to be able to do when he left. (I'm still a little wistful about some of them, and some I did anyway, like buy all new bedding for the MB in a color I liked and knew he didn't.)

I think you really should spend some time thinking about your counselor's question-- what do YOU want? Journal, make a list, test things out. Every time you feel your mind wandering over to your H and what he's doing or anxiety about the future, redirect your attention to something positive about yourself or that you want to learn/read/do. And then do it!