Sage, Pam,

Thank you both for visiting!

So...bunches of positives from yesterday.

First a negative.

Or at least some anxiety.

This weekend, Husband and I were playing on the computer.

My cat, Lily, was sniffing around in the plastic bags that he keeps for the litter box scoopings.

He heard her sniffing, said "NO!" and clapped his hands together.

Lily freaked. She took off running and snagged a plastic bag on her claw.

She thought it was chasing her and ran around, slamming into walls, trying to get away.

Husband called me to come calm her down.

I did, found her in the bathtub, hiding.

I put her in my lap and pet her.

When she was calm, I put her into our bed to hide under the sheets and feel safe.

I noticed some blood on my shirt. So, I pulled her out again and husband and I tried to look. She had completely torn out one of her claws.

So, we stopped the bleeding and put hydrogen peroxide on it.

The next day, I tried to look, but she kept hissing at me. She is normally a very sweet, timid cat...so I knew something was wrong.

And it had a funny smell to it.

So we washed it again. I had husband look online to see if we should take her into the vet..but he didn't see anything.

The next day, I asked my parents for the name/number of their vet. Mom freaked. Said if there is a funny smell then it's already infected. Take her in now.

I looked online. What I found said, "This is a serious injury, vet now!"

So, I freaked. We took her to the vet yesterday afternoon. We both left work in order to get her there.

Vet said that he'd had to declaw that claw. Which means she had to spend the night there last night and tonight.

And she has to be put under anaesthesia.

I went into shock. Couldn't think clearly. Couldn't make decisions. I told vet to do whatever he needed to do.

She's my baby. She was my primary comfort while Husband and I were separated. I am anxious about her going under...but will call today at 12 to see how she's doing.

Was beating myself up for going into shock. But trying to borrow a page from Sage and Pam. It is what it is.

So, Positives.

1> Husband was very loving and supportive of me. He drove us to the vet. Kept hugging me. Reassuring me. He was strong and supportive and let me cry. I kept thanking him for helping me.

2> We had a long conversation about his mother in the car on the way to the vet.

He told me that his mother is this way:

She makes up her mind about what her goal is. And she goes after it. His analogy was that, If she decided that the land the Indians had were to be hers...she would have kicked them off without thinking twice.

She isn't kicking them off to be vicious. It's just she won't let anything/anyone stand in the way of her goal.

That explains a lot to me as to why I've always felt that she was a vicious person.

I don't know which is worse...to be treated as if my wants needs don't matter...or to be gone after viciously!

Husband couldn't decide which was worse either. Obviously to be treated as if what I want/need doesn't matter is not nice for my ego. Ok...so it wounds my ego..but to go after someone visciouly IS worse.

I told Husband that I think my mom is the same way. It's just my Mom isn't looking at it as "This is the right thing." She's looking at is as "This is best for you."

And we both agreed that our mom's wont negotiate.

But, now I see, Black/White thinking abounds in my mom and his mom! What's more black/white than, "I'm right and we'll do it my way! Period!"

So...that was a very interesting conversation.

And I'm so happy that he shared it with me.

Hugs all.


PIB