These spouses can really say some hurtful stuff. 'Incumbent' made me feel so bad for you. Like you're some kind of employee who can be fired willy nilly instead of someone he promised to love. My H described me and the kids as 'collateral damage' and that still makes me wince nearly 2 years later. I would also like to come over and punch your H. You deserve better. Please get some IC, you will spin for ages but IC is helpful in not over burdening your friends. Recovering from this takes time, you need to stop spinning, then start grieving, then start accepting. Radical self care and GAL are essential, even if you feel so bleak and sad and anxious that it's difficult to do. Things will get better with time, guaranteed xx
