I am extremely triggered, the neighbour at our other house rang to say there was an Amazon delivery left outside so I just said I'm sure H will be back soon and texted him to tell him. He must have set up an extra Amazon account specifically so I can't see, his deceptive behaviour is increasingly disgusting to me as this is just one of several similar examples. The sooner I can separate finances so I don't have to be exposed to this stuff the better. He's still taking out lots of cash but I'm determined not to confront him yet.
Saw H on Wednesday when he dropped off ds2. He only stayed 5 minutes and looked uncomfortable. I was warm and friendly. He said the payout will almost certainly be sorted this week, it might have been already. He needs to tell me where the money is going as it's a huge amount. And he needs to not be hiding any from me...I need to move the cash I have collected into my other account, my friend is happy to help me. I also need to find out how much D is to get started if I want to keep it a secret for the time being.
Half of me wants to delay triggering D so I could spend the summer at our other house while H is off travelling, as I really love it there and will miss the house more than H, if he is going to live there full time I won't be able to go there once a week like I used to. The other half of me just wants to get the financials sorted out so I can stop all this deceptive nonsense from H getting to me. I will contact the lawyer again on Monday and get the ball rolling, I might be able to do a lot without H knowing (I'm assuming he is not about to drop a bomb or tell me he is filing for D). I really despise him, what a weak pathetic man he is.
Online dating, hmm. More offers of sex or FWB, getting boring. Not sure I have clicked with anyone yet but I've only met one bloke (see above). I have a date tomorrow afternoon in town with someone who seems very nice but maybe a bit dull. A few chats ongoing with some ok men. I joined another site which is aimed at more educated people, it's really expensive to join properly and the way the questions are structured makes everyone sound really boring! But I might get less sex pests and more genuine men on there, so I might fork out.
So, still here, H is still being a horrible person, I'm still in limbo but hopefully not for long! H asked me to bring the kids to see him on Sunday and I said maybe, thinking they wouldn't want to. I don't want to either now. He disgusts me.
