Wellll like I said feeling come and go. Been anxious today. Wife went to her mother's for awhile. When she came back she said she was going there tomorrow to swim with kids. It's been 3 digits this week. Asked if she cared if I came wanted to cool down see the kids. She said I guess not which then lead to when are telling them I don't want to have these fake interactions anymore. I said whenever, we could do it tomorrow. Which then lead so what were to pretend and then say it or it's just to be awkward after. I said I don't it's up to you if don't want me there just say so. I've been pretty vocal I'd rather tell our families together if that's what we're doing. She doesn't believe hut I do care for her family and sure maybe there's no chance of staying friendly but I still want to have face and be there. Let them know I love them at least one last time. I thought she'd want that with mine as well but she refusing to talk with me there either. Needless to say these conversations spiraled into to good relationship talk. So yeah another strike for me. Not sure if anyone is still reading my stuff but good luck to the rest of you. Starting to feel like I'll never be able to do this.
