Eeeeek. I probably could have written something similar 12 years ago when I was in my 20’s and my ex left me for another woman. With our first child, a 6 month old baby at home. I did the same things. Pried about OW. Digging just to hear that maybe he was with her but he still didn’t love her as much as me. Trying to set this crazy “boundaries” which were not actually boundaries at all.
I look back and I could only cringe. I could not believe how much I disrespected myself! How much worth I had lost feeling “better” when he told me he didn’t say he loved her yet. Thinking I was still on top. I was vying for the attention of a cheater trying to be better than OW. First, how can I think so little of myself? ANd how could he possibly find that more appealing and attracting? Pretty darned sure it was more pity because I seemed pathetic.
If I could change anything , it would be how I carried myself. How I valued myself. I wish I would have viewed myself as worthy. Not to get him back, but because I am so much better than that.
I will tell you, the harder you press him to stay in the house, then make rules about being discreet, the more you ask about their R, and the more you show him you will act like a wife to him while he is having an affair, the farther away he will go for sure. No doubt about it.
My ex had since married her, and it’s been a hood amount of years. I didn’t get my husband back ( thank god) but I got my dignity and self worth back. Those are priceless. My daughter can look at me and see a positive strong role model who wouldn’t play second fiddle to some other woman. You simply could not put a price on those things. Trust me.
