In our marriage , he expected something for anything nice he ever did and held it over my head. But he hasn’t been that way yet.
One thing we all learn here is that most people don't change. Those who do change struggle with that change.
Let's paint a picture shall we? This is completely made up in my head and may have no reflection in reality.
Let's assume that he's gotten a bit bored in his marriage and his wandering eye is wandering. Not to say any other parts have gone a-wandering but the eyes have. I vaguely remember you posting a while ago about him hitting on a friend of your's. If he's out of work and practicing at least some self-isolation then the number of women out there for him to flirt with, do things for, groom as his next inamorata etc is quite limited and you are a known quantity.
And I could also understand on how doing things for women to whom he's not "obliged" to assist and who are appreciative in any fashion just plain makes him feel good.
As a side story, for many years there was an older single lady who lived next door. My ex would be frustrated because I'd often be helping her with things. Shoveling snow off her roof, cutting her grass (when I did mine), clearing her walk etc. Things that a heavy, older single woman would struggle with doing on her own. In return we'd sit over a glass of whiskey (she had no concept of portion sizes) and chat or she would make me deviled eggs (my wife hated the smell of boiled eggs so never made any). My wife was certainly jealous of this and would get annoyed even though I did lots at home and for her for which I was pretty much never thanked.
Now - I was obviously not hitting on this neighbour but still it did create jealousy. And since your ex is married to an OW who undoubtedly is constantly being compared to her predecessor and who knows that her husband is capable of having an affair is undoubtedly quite concerned.
Good job on having a garden though! And help is welcome as long as you can see where the strings are tied off to. Just don't let your ex plant a bunch of things that are going to be more work than you want. Also - start reading up on things to make with tomatoes - from personal experience, they all seem to get ripe in the same 15 minutes
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
