Pommy you have been overtly clear from the get go about what you want and what you are willing to do to get it. There is no guess work to be had. It's why he's been waffling for so long. He knows what you have to offer but isn't emotionally in a place to commit to that yet. If he seriously wants to know why you're hot and cold it's pretty simple, you are responding appropriately to his indecision. If he wants a hot and bothered panther in the sheets and an emotionally available wife he needs to provide an environment where you are able to do that safely. He has plenty of expectations for you. While as LBS we're asked to keep our expectations low, the expectation of not being 100% the wife he wants until he's the husband you need isn't out of the realm of reality. We are not required to expect absolutely nothing of them and give them 100% of what they want. Next NC isn't simply to teach WS/WAS a lesson. It's a coping mechanism. If you think you can be friendly, or h3ll, even flirty without getting your heart and emotions swept up you're welcome to do that. But most LBSs simple can't. So we don't. Some are more adept at it than others. R2C, I think it was, was very encouraging about the art of seduction, but I'm really good at separating sex and love. I'm capable of keeping H on the line for the benefit of my needs. That's not every one's bag. You have to use these techniques to help you survive this. And the ones that help you in particular to make the best decisions for you you can make. None of this stuff is truly, truly to reel these WS/WAS back in. It's to be that person they can't walk away from. A strong confident, I got me, kind of person.
