I can sympathize with your situation quite a bit. It seems very similar to my sitch in many ways. There is no way to know what she is thinking, or why she is thinking a particular way. In my situation, my W's triggering event was a rejection by her birth family (W is adopted), combined with mid-40s age group and it was too much for her to handle. 2 years later, BD.
A lot of the advice here is excellent, and I encourage you to keep reading and posting. My best advice to you is often repeated by the vets here: Work on yourself and your relationship with your children. Do not let fear get the best of you. You may end up with a D, or you may not. Do not waste time worrying thinking about things that may not be true or may not ever happen. If you keep the focus on yourself and your kids, you will be best positioned to live your best life, regardless of the outcome of your sitch.
