Limbo over, now separated but in lockdown (part 3)

[Pommy99]

Thanks May, Wayfarer, KC. Honestly there has been no R discussions in a week and a half. I'm so not going there any more. We exchanged a few texts yesterday - he had to go to hospital for a minor accident treatment. D16 told me he'd gone but I didnt send any txt to ask if he was ok. He drove himself there - I knew it was minor. We exchanged some texts about medication - I didnt ask how he was or what had happened, but I didnt want to come across as completely uncaring so I did respond to his request for some medicine that he thought we had and I said I would drop it on his doorstep as he was still stuck at the hospital after several hours. (Unfortunately by the time I got there he was also just pulling up at home so I wasnt able to avoid seeing him, but I did stay in the car and handed it through the window!. He txt me later to say how much he appreciated it kiss kiss. I responded no problem (and no kisses)! Today I havent contacted him to ask how he is, knowing that he has an injury. I feel cold and uncaring.

I am still struggling with the business like/treat him like a neigbour approach. As Sage (I think) wrote on her thread, when you know that you've been emotionally/physically unavailable in your marrige, continuing to act that way surely just reinfoces their belief that that is who you are and you will never change. I've spent a year trying to be both emotionally and physically available and now I feel like I'm withdrawing it again. So how can he ever trust that I am that kind and compassionate person that he married, when I put it out there, then take it away, put it out there, take it away, etc?