We played too long. I stayed up way past my bedtime. But I did get my exercise done.
I can see right now, that this will be a challenge for me.
We have so much fun together, why would I want to stop and do chores? Or go to bed?
Heh.
But, I know that I need to get my exercise as that has been helping me decrease my anxiety. The more I exercise regularly, the better I deal with any stress/anxiety that arises.
I told Husband that our time of playing was limited by several things. Including my going to bed on time.
Last night, he was all disapointed that I wanted to stop playing at 8:30. By the time my exercise was completed and I had settled down enough to sleep, it was 11:00.
I function best when I have 9 hours sleep. And he functions fine on 5 hours. Or so he claims.
Anyway, this morning, when it was his time to get up, he asked me to get up instead.
I told him no.
Standing up for myself is hard.
But my thinking is this:
He chooses to stay up until 12 or 2 am. That's his choice. Why should I sacrifice my sleep?
I'm sorry if that sounds cold or selfish.
But if I make the effort to get to bed by a certain time, to get the sleep I know I need, Why should I give up my sleep because he chose to stay up later than he should have?
I'm sure you have heard the saying:
A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
The old me would have immediately jumped to do whatever he asked of me.
The new me, is protecting myself..but I still feel anxious.
If I tell him no, will he turn his back on me?
Sounds ridiculous..but the anxiety is still there.
This is my choice:
To continue to be respectful to both of us.
To do what I know needs doing, despite wanting to play. "Work first, play later."
To not sacrifice my well-being or my health to a game.
To keep in mind what KAW told me. Standing up for myself, facing the conflict is new territory for me. Of course, I'll have anxiety! But I'll stay focused on doing what is right, and doing it with love and respect.