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Quote:

Husband bought me a new computer this weekend. We are going to play some EverQuest tonight...I am sooo excited!

It's been so long since we played together!! Even during our really rough times, this was the one thing we could still do together and have fun!

Man, this work day can not go by FAST enough for me!!

Hugs all!


How did it go last night?


Pam

"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned
so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
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Hiya Pam!

It went great!

We played too long. I stayed up way past my bedtime. But I did get my exercise done.

I can see right now, that this will be a challenge for me.

We have so much fun together, why would I want to stop and do chores? Or go to bed?

Heh.

But, I know that I need to get my exercise as that has been helping me decrease my anxiety. The more I exercise regularly, the better I deal with any stress/anxiety that arises.

I told Husband that our time of playing was limited by several things. Including my going to bed on time.

Last night, he was all disapointed that I wanted to stop playing at 8:30. By the time my exercise was completed and I had settled down enough to sleep, it was 11:00.

I function best when I have 9 hours sleep. And he functions fine on 5 hours. Or so he claims.

Anyway, this morning, when it was his time to get up, he asked me to get up instead.

I told him no.

Standing up for myself is hard.

But my thinking is this:

He chooses to stay up until 12 or 2 am. That's his choice. Why should I sacrifice my sleep?

I'm sorry if that sounds cold or selfish.

But if I make the effort to get to bed by a certain time, to get the sleep I know I need, Why should I give up my sleep because he chose to stay up later than he should have?

I'm sure you have heard the saying:

A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.

The old me would have immediately jumped to do whatever he asked of me.

The new me, is protecting myself..but I still feel anxious.

If I tell him no, will he turn his back on me?

Sounds ridiculous..but the anxiety is still there.

This is my choice:

To continue to be respectful to both of us.

To do what I know needs doing, despite wanting to play. "Work first, play later."

To not sacrifice my well-being or my health to a game.

To keep in mind what KAW told me. Standing up for myself, facing the conflict is new territory for me. Of course, I'll have anxiety! But I'll stay focused on doing what is right, and doing it with love and respect.

Hugs all.


PIB
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PIB,

Sounds like you have a plan on how to handle this. I know you will work the logistics of all the things you need to do out.


When you can't make a decision because you are torn between your heart and your head, listen to the half with the brain.
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I am learning to say know as well. I t is very scarey but boundaries are healthy. My H hhas np problem with telling me no!!!!! Why is that?

Nitaf

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Hiya Pattie and Nitaf!

Thank you both for visiting!

Pattie, I do believe I have a good plan, good notion of what I need to do. I'll just have faith that as I keep practicing standing up for myself, I'll get better at it...and the anxiety will go away!

Nitaf,

I used to think that my husband telling me 'no' meant that he didn't love me.

Now I see that it means that he loves himself. Huge difference!

I don't expect him to like my telling him no. But I suspect he'll respect me for it.

Hugs!


PIB
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So so true. My C said, that when we don't have boundaries, what we are saying is I am not important and you don't have to value my feelings or opinions.

I am just learning that I am imortant and I am worth it!!!!!!! fEELS GOOD TOO!

nITAF

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Quote:

But, I know that I need to get my exercise as that has been helping me decrease my anxiety. The more I exercise regularly, the better I deal with any stress/anxiety that arises.

I told Husband that our time of playing was limited by several things. Including my going to bed on time.

Last night, he was all disapointed that I wanted to stop playing at 8:30. By the time my exercise was completed and I had settled down enough to sleep, it was 11:00.


Hi PIB,

I was sitting and thinking, no idea why this popped into my head, but is there a reason you do your exercise right before going to bed versus a different time of day?

I am only asking because it seems to me I was always told DON'T do your exercise right before going to bed.

But my memory is very questionable anymore.


Pam

"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned
so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
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Hi PnB,
Well its 11:00 pm now so I guess I'll say ...

Sweet dreams!

'til later,
KAW

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Hiya Pam,

Well, I have always heard that it's more effective if you exercise in the morning..before eating.

However, I know myself. And for as long as I can remember, I've found that if I try to exercise in the morning...I won't exercise regularly. But if I exercise at night, I get it done on a regular basis.

So...I'm going with what works!

If you are able to exercise in the morning, then you should!!! From what I understand, it's 3 x's more effective than exercising later in the day.

KAW,

Thank you for swinging by!

You are in my thoughts.

Hugs.


PIB
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Good Morning PIB,

I figured you had a good reason, just wondered. Have no idea why that popped into my head last night, but for some reason it did.

Have a wonderful day.


Pam

"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned
so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
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