I just want to second a couple of Alison's recommendation-- one, go much, much darker than you are right now. He says he wants time and space... great, give it to him! And you take that same time/space to focus on YOU and what you want. Think of it like another 180-- a good stretch of time where you are not being the one to reach out, to fix things, talking about your R-- and letting him really sit in what that feels like. Also, avoid R talks LIKE THE PLAGUE is 100% right.
Ideally, you are not sitting at home waiting for heartbreak and destruction. You're using this time to invest in yourself. What do you love to do? What parts of yourself have you lost in your MR to your H, or by being a mom? Take this time to get to know yourself as Sage again, not Sage-the-mom or Sage-the-wife or Sage-the-business partner. Whatever it is you like to do that you haven't been able to do so much, do them! Watch the TV shows you like, not just the ones you could compromise on and liked as a couple. Eat the food you like and he hates. Work out, do yoga, meditate, take a long bath, learn to play the ukulele... whatever it is that feeds your soul.
Are you nesting? What do you do when you don't have the kids?
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
