There is nothing wrong with a grown man crying. Crying helps to relieve some of that stress and tension that you've been under.
As for your W marrying the OM, it's going to take some time for the euphoria of a new relationship to wear off and when it does, she's going to realize that nothing really has changed in her life except her bed partner. There will be bills to pay, house to clean, meals to prepare, etc. The routine won't change much at all. Also, the more time that they spend together, the more likelihood that they will begin to see all of their flaws and realize that the fantasyland isn't what it's cracked up to be. It may take a couple of years for this to happen...
Don't ever assume that everything is over. Anything can happen between now and the divorce date. However, I will suggest that you continue to live your life to the fullest, be kind and and patience w/yourself. Some day, if she decides to reconnect w/you and wants to reconcile...you will be the one to determine whether or not to try again. Who knows...you just might meet a very nice lady who is far more settled and mature and enjoys you for who you are and wants to spend her life w/you. It will then be your XW's loss.
Keep the focus on you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
