Limbo over, now separated but in lockdown (part 3)

[Pommy99]

Thanks May. I will leave it off the table for now. I’m trying to give myself (and him) a mental break from constantly thinking about the M. It’s hard to get it out of my mind 24/7 but I am distracting myself. I’m also not sure myself which way I’m leaning.

So as predicted, the pursuit has started again after the brief period of NC. Yesterday H picked up and dropped off kids and I was out all day. In the evening the pointless texts started coming through - a spider in his house, etc. Then responding/quoting one of my posts with ‘LOL’ type comments in a WhatsApp group we are both in, followed by ‘liking’ a load of activities I’d uploaded in a social media fitness app. He is truly following the script.

This morning he has called to discuss the difficulties he is having with the kids. Both D are a ambivalent towards him in varying degrees and he can see how they are struggling emotionally. He wants them to see his IC so they can talk about their feelings, and so he knows how to better manage the situation with them. D14 is already seeing a psychiatrist for severe anxiety so I said I don’t want her to see another professional when she’s only recently started with the current one. He didn’t see an issue with her seeing two, whereas I said she will be overwhelmed and may well receive conflicting advice, which is just going to be confusing to her and detrimental to her progress. He sent me some links about the impact of S/D on children. I’d already sent them to him about 5 months ago. He’s only just getting the enormity of the situation now.

I found the conversation hurtful because it seemed a stark reminder that there is no R in sight as far as he is concerned. This kind of interaction just sets me back again. I refrained from making any comments about him having left, or wishing he would come back, or ‘I told you it would hurt them but you didn’t see an issue’.

I kept the conversation very business like. He asked how i was, how my weekend was but I kept my answers short, and didn’t ask him how he was. Should I be asking him or should I not go there? I’m still struggling between being cheery and interested in him or showing him I’m over it.