No changes on WAW - Pack_19 Part II

[Pack_19]

hi all,

Hope everyone is doing fine as Covid seems to be slowly dying and we adapt to a new way of living. I am having a bad week with W. She wrote a couple of times telling me to bring the kids back tomorrow as per our old agreement that is no longer valid and I stood strong. This was my reply.

''Good morning W. I will be bringing the kids next Thursday. The agreement you are trying to establish as our routine has no validity to my eyes or the law, please do not try to use it to justify your demands. I will be pursuing shared custody and I have already spoken to my lawyer. Now people can meet outside and I will be here when you decide to speak, I do not want to talk to you in the door of your building and in the presence of our children. They have suffered enough and that is the last thing they deserve now. Have a good day"

I am having a great time with kids. I have been going out with the bike and the older one almost daily and I am trying to teach him some tricks to gain confidence on the bike. The little one is also having great fun. We had a water balloon fight a couple of days ago, yesterday we went to the McAuto to pick up dinner and I keep reading them to sleep daily.

Things with W havent changed. I want to have hope and be the rock that carries the weight of the family but it is hard not to lose hope. Will I ever see a change in her heart? why would somebody have children with someone the love they feel for is seasonal? how long does she need to realise no tattoos or new jobs will bring her the happiness of a solid, loving and united family? I have made mistakes but I seriously doubt she has ever loved me. I never listened to her and I let our problems fester but I have changed my life to be close to our children and give our marriage a chance. I read all these stories about people fighting for years or going desperately to counseling for a marriage they care for. We never did any of that and we have two very big reasons to do it.

All I have received from her over the past weeks has been "I dont want to be with you, I am free to be with whoever I want and if it wasn't for our kids I would have moved on by now". I have been reading a lot about boundaries and detaching lately, I really hope I can apply now the things I read to make the people that are helping me proud of my changes. I talk a lot to my S6, he enjoys being with me and is proud of my changes. I wish I had not made so many mistakes at the beginning of this. I thought being nice to my W was a way of showing her I love her and want her to be happy. I will try to show her happiness is in our united family, but enough of the nice guy. There are people in my life that admire and respect me way more than my W and I have given them much less of me. Almost 10 months since DB and I am starting to see I might get my family back because it does not depend on me.

I hope you are all having a great week!
hugs, Packs