thanks may, I always enjoy your words of encouragement!
Update:
So H told his parents over the weekend that we are divorcing. In H's words, "I told them that it was MY decision."
Apparently he gave them no details because my MIL called me immediately after to ask wth is going on. My MIL is not the brightest person in the room, but she has a good heart. Her first question to me was "Did H hit you??" I said no. "Is he having an affair???" I said I don't know. She went on and on about how shocked she was and how they still hope that we will be able to overcome our problems and work it all out. I told her not to worry too much, I still love them and I will still visit them with the kids on my own. Overall, I'm glad that things are out on the table. My MIL was really upset over the news but she wasn't hysterical.
Back to H. He came over to watch the kids while I had an engagement, when I came back he wanted to talk again.
He was talking a lot. I let him talk. mostly how he's drafting up the d agreement and something about taxes in the agreement (??? I had no idea what he was saying). Threw a pity party for himself also...talked about how he hasn't been sleeping well, the process of writing the agreement is excruciating...etc. I acknowledged that it must be hard and thanked him for doing the grunt work. He asked what happens now if we're visiting my parents in the city. "If you guys are there one weekend, and I can come and also help out with the kids....am I supposed to get a hotel now?" (SERIOUSLY, why would he even think that he'd still be welcomed there???) I said "Yes. We are no longer a family unit. Just like I would not come along with you to visit your parents, you will not be staying at my parent's when you go visit. You can get a hotel room, and if you want to take the kids with you to stay at the hotel, I'm open to that too."
more babbling from him. and then this:
H: "I am trying really hard to be civil, but if you keep handling things the way you've been doing, you will not like how things turn out." Me: "I don't understand what you mean, will you clarify?" H: " You told your parents about us without notifying me or telling me. and YOU told the kids. What am I supposed to do with the kids now? Am I supposed to have a talk with them about it or something?" Me: "I told the kids what?" H: "THE DIVORCE!" Me: "YOU told them."
and at that instant I realized there's is no point continuing the conversation. There is a thin veil of civility and nicety on him, but the inner illogical, angry, hurt child is itching to come out.
I said, I don't want to argue about this. It's getting late and I need to prep dinner for the kids.
Thankfully he walked away.
Oh, and he was going to leave a bottle of whiskey here again. When he was leaving I handed the bottle to him and told him bring it with him. I don't want it here.
