The divorce has become as ugly as one would expect from a sociopath. But I’m getting better. Slowly. Every day I feel a bit stronger and realise I didn’t deserve this, it’s not my fault. I’ve finally realised that despite my desperate attempts to be nice, you just can’t negotiate with a terrorist - which is exactly what a WAS in MLC is.
I made a completely reasonable financial proposal which she didn’t respond to for several months. When my lawyer asked her for an update - she responded with an application to court for financial settlement. Is refusing any attempt at amicable third party driven mediation. So controlling and narcissistic.
After six months of reasoned, calm and common sense techniques from my lawyer and I, she is still refusing to budge on custody - so we’re off to court for that too. I have no other option to protect the future of my kids with 50:50 access.
She has taken $70k cash in six months and has applied to the court for 4:1 (yeah you read that right) split of our asset pool, plus $400/week alimony, plus $300/week child support, plus me to pay all her court costs. All of this while I’m temporarily unemployed and unpaid from my job due to COVID19. She’s absolutely delusional. How much is from her and how much is from the lawyer I don’t know, but her lawyer is getting paid by the hour and so has no motivation to go to mediation or see an amicable financial or custodial solution. However, she is still responsible for directing her lawyer so it’s still her responsibility. If I told her the sky is blue she would risk her life trying to prove its green with purple polka dots.
Still hasn’t got off her @ss and got a job. I think she expects to remain a stay at home Mum on her old lifestyle of drinking coffee all day with her girlfriends and that I’m going to fund it all. My lawyer is taking the lead now. I spent 10 years as the main bread winner (in a demanding, well paid job) and every minute I was home I was doing all the housework, renovated three houses myself and being a great Dad.
I have to stay patient and indifferent, but part of me just wants it done. I still love her and the person she was when we married, but I’ve realised how toxic it is to be around her. I don’t want to be cruel or adversarial, I just want to get on with building a new life for me and my two little men rather than being a slave and money fountain for a very unwell person that I just can’t help any more. I stuck by her through 12 years of bouts of anorexia and depression and it’s now time I found ways to add energy to my life rather than have it sucked away.
I remember finding a topless photo of her on her phone 18 months ago which she explained as “I took it to send to you but got overwhelmed and changed my mind.” Can’t believe I fell for that. Most responders to my initial post discussed the very real possibility there was an EA/PA. Looking back on this event, it now seems obvious there probably was/still is. Guilt is a powerful motivator to justify treating someone like sh**.
Oh and she ignored every one of my and my lawyer’s multiple requests over the last four months for me to see our dying family pet, and then had him put down without giving me the opportunity to say goodbye first. Rang me from the vet in tears. Did she expect sympathy and comforting from me? Sociopathic behaviour 101.
These MLCs are completely insane, horrrible, manipulative, sick people.
I can’t wait to rebuild a new life without all this cruelty. I deserve it!
Last edited by job; 05/24/2003:41 PM. Reason: edited language
