To answer your question. The only time that my xh showed any remorse and provided a half *ss apology was several days after my BIL was laid to rest. The only reason that he threw the apology out to me was because he wanted all of the photos from trips and family outings that we had taken, as well as some additional things from the home. Keep in mind, this request came 3 years after our divorce. Well, I can honestly say the b*tch came out in me and I was very, very frank w/him and advise him that he had gotten everything he wanted during the house walk thru 3 years earlier and that he need to go back and refer to his divorce decree because he wasn't getting anything else. The apology went out the window and he was cursing like a sailor in an email. He never gave up on the photos because he was still asking for them until 2013 and when he met his third live-in/wife, he's been quiet ever since.
He was the type of person that would never apologize unless he wanted something. He never appeared to feel guilty about anything. My situation was very much like yours and your h may never show any remorse about anything he has done and continues to do. It's called "entitlement". Like you, I ensured that the bills were paid on time, the house ran smoothly and he had it made by what others have told me. He drove a new vehicle, had nice clothes, traveled around the world, etc., and it was never enough. Whatever someone else had, he wanted it to and then 6 months later, he lost interest in whatever it was and I was stuck paying the bills on those things that he wanted.
Please do not ever feel like you are alone in this....I traveled a road very much like yours. I can assure you...once you are able to get out of the eye of the hurricane, life will be so much better. You'll be able to find peace and begin to save money once again and you will come to realize just what you actually dealt w/for all of those years. Right now, you are so very close to the eye of the hurricane and it's keeping you on edge. I pray that your situation can be resolved and soon.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
