I am new here, but have read your thread and just wanted to say that limbo is so hard and I admire your strength to endure as long as you have. I ended up giving H an ultimatum shortly after the lockdown started: either work on the MR, or we need to separate. I couldn't handle the coldness, the meanness and the indecision. I felt like I owed it to my D's for them not to witness that. I probably pushed him away, but I am not sure he would have ultimately made a different decision anyway.
And with regards to Memorial Day weekend, I feel you completely. It used to be a special weekend for us as a family with a tradition to travel to another state, but now that's not happening. Because of Covid, but I am not sure it would have even if Covid wasn't here. So hard.
I hope you find a moment in this upcoming weekend that makes you happy for just you! I am going to be working on that as well.
