Allison, thank you for your thoughtful responses. I am still learning how to quote, so bear with me!
"You can read over my old threads, Sage, and see that contempt and verbal abuse and out and out meanness is something that I've had to deal with a lot from my H. He actually has improved in his area a lot and generally - almost always - speaks to me with respect now."
I will read your old threads. I know that Gottman says that contempt is the number one predictor of divorce, and it has not be present in our relationship until recently, nor has the verbal or emotional abuse. But now it's like the floodgates have opened and there are is no hold back or self control on the things he feels he can say to me. I am trying to navigate this without taking everything personally and wanting to ball up and cry.
I really appreciate all the examples of clear boundaries you have shared. I am working on creating these for myself, but I find it hard in the moment not to react with shock or sadness when he pushes back on a boundary with meanness.
