I’m new here, but can totally relate to what you are going through with your son. I am going through similar stuff with my tween. It’s interesting, because as I was reading DR and all the stories on this site, it made me realize that the techniques we apply to our marriage really could be used with any relationship (with adjustments).
With my tween (who is also miserable being away from friends, hates homeschooling, pestering his siblings, angry outbursts at us adults etc), I have started to:
-Validate his emotions (with an emphasis on naming his feelings, helping him identify why he is feeling the way he does etc) -Detach (lovingly, basically not taking his insults or actions personally and really trying to understand that his struggles are circumstantial due to his age and the current situation) -Set boundaries (which it sounds like you are doing a good job of!)
