Thank you for your clarification. I really needed that. I think I was getting stuck in black/white thinking again!
You said:
Its not about the lure of sex, but accessibility. There is a subtle difference. If its always there when he wants it, like anything else its taken for granted and loses some of its appeal. Its not until its taken away does he notice what he is missin' ... a theme we all should be familar with by now.
This makes a whole bunch of sense to me.
Unfortunately, I don't know what 'excuse' to use that won't have him feeling rejected.
The one he says to me is: "I'm not in the mood." and when I hear that, I take it very personally. This could just be me being oversensitive. I'm not sure if there is something he could say that I wouldn't take personally.
So...would it be fair of me to tell him, "I'm not in the mood?"
Once, when we were first dating, I told him I had a headache..I really did have one. He told me that 'sex cures a headache' and he set out to prove it...turns out he was right. So, I can't use that excuse.
Or Perhaps my better plan is to be grateful for the one time a week?
After all, I have so much more to be happy about.
Positives:
1> He caulked all the holes in the window frames closed. Hopefully we will no longer have a crowd of ladybugs in the house! Not to mention the bees and wasps!
2> He went swimming with me this weekend!
3> He watched a couple of shows together.
4> We got a bit silly last night. He put his plate in the dishwasher and I thanked him. He turned around and put another plate in and looked at me pointedly. I didn't say anything. So he said, "Aren't you going to thank me?" So, I did. He then proceeded to look around for more dishes to put in dishwasher...with me thanking him for each knife, spoon and cup! Lol.
5> He put up with me being in a bad mood. Told me that I am human and am entitled to have a bad day. Told me I was his angel.
6> Went to dinner and a play with my parents and I!
