So, I have found that there is one area in which I can show my vulnerability...if I handle it right.
The most effective way seems to be for me to come to him when I'm having a panic attack.
The most recent example. He got cable installed for our computers this past weekend.
I went to him and said, "Hon, I'm having a panic attack. I need some reassurance that with this cable modem that our marriage won't go back to the way it used to be...with you always on the computer and me feeling abandoned. I'm sure it won't be that way, but I really need to be reassured right now."
He smiled, pulled me close and gently told me, "It won't be like that."
I took a deep breath...smiled and thanked him for making me feel safe.
Drat...I should have listed this in my positives.
In any case...I think the key is in telling him that I know he's not the bad guy...that I just need reassurance...that I'm scared.
But I think to begin with, I went to him about panic attacks that I was having in regards to others...issues that had nothing to do with him. And when he reassured me, I was quick to thank him for making me feel safe.
In fact, this past weekend, I told him that I was sorry for my panic attacks. That I felt like they were a burden to him. He told me that it complicates his life. And that he likes that. (Between us girls..I think he meant, he likes being my knight)
