Spiral, as the others said you seem to have naturally grasped DB'ing even before finding the book, so well done! I want to share a story with you just so you know that while things seem bleak right now, there IS still reason to have hope. A good friend of mine's wife left him and immediately moved in with an OM. I'll spare you the details but it was just like your story and so many others here. Wasn't happy, had to move on, blah blah. They actually owned a business together. They sold it and split the proceeds. Sold the house and split that as well. He did not talk to her for 2 years afterwards. Zero contact (they both had kids, but not together). Then she started messaging him, just "hey how are you" stuff. They met for coffee. Then lunch. Then a movie. Basically they started the whole dating ritual all over again. They've been back together for 3 or 4 years now and are happier than ever. What she went through had everything to do with her internal struggles and little to do with him. She had to go through all that to realize that what she left behind was the man she wanted all along.
Originally Posted by Spiral
She did the dishes and the laundry this morning. Don't know what that means, but I'm not going to acknowledge it or encourage it.
She's trying to keep her foot in the door, keep you on as Plan B. She doesn't know if OM will work out, so she wants to keep her options open. Not acknowledging or encouraging it is the perfect response. No positive OR negative reaction, just no reaction.
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She's even started texting me a bit. I responded to two texts asking how our children were doing in recent days and that's it. She also texted me that she was thinking of me and sent a heart emoji. The irony of her texting me that from his place was not lost on me. I'm sure she wanted me to text back that I was thinking of her too. I did not even bother to look at the phone for several hours.
Good good good. My buddy came by it naturally just like you, he didn't pursue or anything, just let her do what she was going to do.
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Nevertheless, it's full stem ahead on feathering her new nest, so none of these inconsistent signs mean anything.
Exactly right.
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I think I still have an extremely bad case of attachment.
Of course you do, that's normal and natural. But you're not acting on it, and that's the important part. Keep it up!
