How do you DB when you love your WAS?

[BlueSea]

Go no contact.

Steve - What about when the WAH is still living with you?

Alright - though all this has just been going on since Feb 25th, I feel like it has been years...

The WAH is in the house, at first was "trying" at our marriage and I was told he stopped the A during this try time to focus on us, after about a month or so of that, he let me know he still did not feel any rekindled feelings - thought I was a great person, he knew I had made major changes that would stick and thought we would make great friends. (kill me) And he would no longer be trying...but stayed in the house. I really did not understand what "not trying" meant, until I recently discovered that it meant that he was fully back into a EA/PA.

I let him know last night that I know. We have been to one MC session where we learned a DEAR technique for conflict resolution and should practice together - so I used one of our practices to bring up that fact that I now understand what he meant by not trying - and all the associated feelings around it. It turned out to be a lengthy conversation, where he did break down getting a bit weepy and said he was struggling with his decision and that is why he is staying. He was very soft, tender and vulnerable...but that was last night.

This morning, he is back to being distant and cold. And in one interaction we just had, pretty upset.

We are in the house together - how do I effectively DB ?
Right now, little communication - answer his questions with 1 or 2 sentences. Try not to engage. My mind is so muddled out of stress that all I can keep in my head as one rule is SAY NOTHING.

Would really appreciate input on next smart DB steps in this situation.