I've not been in this situation, but I've seen it play out here dozens of times. They usually respond with a mix of DENIAL and RELIEF.
Denial - They'll gaslight you about the existence, extent, duration, and beginnings of the affair unless you're certain about them. Unless you have evidence, you're paranoid and delusional. If you do have evidence, prepare for them to lie about anything it doesn't directly prove.
Relief - Once it's out in the open, the shady business is behind them, and they're no longer doing anything wrong. Your eyes are open and it's your choice whether to accept it or leave.
Originally Posted by Misty
how is the best way to confront a WAS on this?
What about IF you should confront? You should only confront if you're certain there's an affair and you're ready to take action about it. Words like, "You have to choose between her and I!" are not action. Otherwise, you've just shown your hand and either look paranoid (if they go the denial route) or feeble (if they go the relief route) or maybe both at the same time (if they go both routes--it's possible!).
