How do you DB when you love your WAS?

[BlueSea]

I think denial is a big part of it. But the sooner the A is discovered, and the WAS is confronted, the more likely you are to move to R.

Steve - As always you are on point with your advice. I was in denial and am not any longer. There is an A. Can you please tell me what / how is the best way to confront a WAS on this? I know this may be completely evident to everyone but I do not know if this should be a discussion of: "your out" or "you can not live here and do that" or "its either me or her" - do ultimatums even work for WAS? I guess I need to know the framework of this confrontation is for the sole reason of kicking him out of the house?

Also, any ideas on how the WAS will respond? So that I can be prepared for that.

Thank you for everyone's input. (as an aside, if you read pp, I will try to man-up and not get too sensitive, I realize its all coming from a good place, and I am beyond appreciative. I legit do want advice from those that have walked this path before.)